Reading is fun-d-mental

I've never been a big reader of books. I don't read instructions for things unless I absolutely need to (and that's rare!). If you saw my huge collection of books it would seem to make these statements contradictory. I do like books on how to do things. The attention and time required makes all the difference as to what kind of book I buy. Maybe I have some A.D.D. (search YouTube for Sean Morey "The A.D.D. Song", it explains a lot lol.

Even in school I rarely read any of the text books but learned by listening to the teacher I guess. That will only get you so far, and for me it didn't get me all that far, B's and C's mostly. The rare few books that I have read are by R. A. Salvatore. I don't have all of his books but someday I probably will. I'm not sure how many he has written but there are many novels. The theme that I most favor are the ones related to the Drow Elf trilogy. He's written some Star Wars books too I think, but I haven't investigated those yet.

If you look hard enough chances are you can find a book that someone has read and recorded so you can listen to it rather than read it. And of course there are official audio books. What can I say, I would rather listen to them than to read them. Remnants of the old fashion radio shows maybe and why people liked those. Or the convenience to pop in a cd and listen to it while in the car or on an mp3 player.

In this day and age of easy to pirate music and media you can even get books in pdf format or something like that. Even if you do get an audio version of a book that is no authorized I would encourage you to still go and purchase the book and support your favorite author. Hopefully I will get around to reading the books I have purchased many years ago. But even if I don't I hope in some small way I have supported my favorite author and he will continue to write for all the others who enjoy his work too. If you can follow twisting plots and keep track of how intertwined characters can become with each other and can think "outside the box" you should at the very least go to the book store and find something by R. A. Salvatore and read a little of it. I would highly recommend the Drow Elf Trilogy which I think he is best known for.

Remember the song "video killed the radio star"? Has Kindle killed books, or will it soon? What will be the fate of libraries? I guess once voice recognition becomes common place the written word will be dead too. R.I.P.

2 steps back

Actually it would be more accurate to say a bunch of steps back.

Since all the chaos and upheaval the separation and custody proceeding have caused, things looked like where going to calm down and normalize some. But noooo can't have that.

A few years ago I filed to have the child support for my oldest child stopped when she turned 18, which the court here did. However come to find out (recently) in New York child support is paid until the age of 21. I think most states the age is 18. So recently they not only restarted the child support but hit me with over $7000 in back child support. Keep in mind I have paid my lawyer around $10,000. This takes out a large amount of my monthly budget. This leaves me in the situation of not having enough money left over at the end of the month for all my bills. I have 6 months left on my lease which they won't let me out of. Even with all the attempts to figure something out with the landlord it seems I may have to just let them take me to court. Several people have responded to my sublet ad, but the landlord's agent said I can't sublease. The lease says all I need is written permission. They have not provided any reasons as to why they won't let me try this to pay the rent. From what I have read, in most states the landlord has a duty to mitigate damages from a broken lease. Since I am attempting to do just that, I can't imagine a judge ruling against me since if they weren't being such (insert bad word here)they could still get their rent. This isn't something I wanted or desired but rather have been forced into. Due to the fact that I have my kids every weekend, having the gas and electric turned off isn't an option, it' doesn't cost that much anyway so it wouldn't help.

So from these events I'm forced to move back in with my mother. This isn't as bad as it may seem. My soon to be ex didn't pay the mortgage to the point where it was going to be foreclosed on. To avoid this my mother and her husband purchased the house for what was owed on it (less than we purchased it for over 4 years ago). So what that means is the kids will have their old bedrooms again when they are with me and I should get more visitation. The yard is very large about 3/4 of an acre. There's room in the basement for a ping pong table even if the ceiling is a little low. I haven't had to really live and consider anyone Else's rules, I was the rule maker. For the three of us a one bedroom apartment was a bit small (and no yard) even if we where hardly ever there. So the extra room will be nice but somehow I feel like I'm loosing some of my freedom. It's a small price to pay for the opportunity to have my boys with me more often. I am concerned how it will affect the relationship between my s.p. and myself. There won't be a lot of alone time, not that there ever was but now it will all have to be at her place I guess.

Do you take your freedoms for granted? I know I have and do.

Take a hike

(photo stolen/borrowed from http://kitkat4real.blogspot.com/)
The weather this past Saturday was gorgeous. That morning was a bit on the cool side, but that was good for my oldest son who had baseball practice. The temperature was in the upper 70's, sunny and with a breeze by that afternoon. It would have been good kite flying weather. After the practice we went to my shopping partner's house, (I'll start calling her s.p. just to annoy her, it will be great fun) then to an outdoor car show. We ate lunch there and at some point I realized I had a sun burn. After spending a little time there we loaded up the car and headed for a camp ground where her sister and brother in law were staying.

Side note: We do travel a little bit so we have made a first aid kit of sorts. Do a search for many many ideas of what to pack. Our kit contains various over the counter medicines for adults and kids, pocket sized rain coats and the standard first aid type things.

Both of us had some empty drink containers that we reuse as water bottles. Buying it is just too expensive. A local sporting goods store is closing so I purchase a couple of small fishing backpacks (I took one of them with us) for the boys. Along with the water I packed extra socks, pants and shirts. My trunk was pretty full but we where well prepared. It didn't take as long to get there as she thought. But finding the correct site was a bit of a challenge even though there weren't that many occupied camp sites. All we had to do was look for a white mini-van. We drove up and back again and after we found the black mini-van we where in the right place. The sites are right next to a small stream which of course the kids would be playing in. But I kept them dry as we had planned on going for a long hike. Walking and wet feet equals torn skin and blisters. We repacked the backpack with things we'd want for the hike, water, snacks and the first aid kit. I adjusted the straps so it would fit me well. So we set off along with her sister, 2 nieces and another boy who's family was camping with them. The breeze kept the bugs away thankfully. As always my youngest and I scoured the ground for interesting looking rocks. The trails where well marked and our destination was a water fall. Following the stream, the trail went up and down and across the stream a couple of times. As we got close the the water fall it got steeper and one section was down right scary. A make shift hand rail of pvc pipe, rope and even some old electrical wire was put in (totally useless as a hand rail). At certain points in the trail we had to carefully navigate the small make shift bridges, some of which where just stones sticking above the water's surface. The water wasn't deep by any means, but it was still wet! So finally reaching the bottom of the water fall we next had to figure out a way up some huge boulders to see the pool at the bottom of the fall. My oldest was just loving it and wanted to climb everything and everywhere. He took a long way to the top because it meant climbing more rocks. On the other hand, I assisted everyone up a spot that looked like it had some foot holds. There is a trail that leads up to the very top of the fall, but it was too steep to try this time, maybe next time. The younger kids enjoyed throwing rocks in the water. My oldest noticed on the cliff next to the fall a snake who was attempting to crawl up the rock face. S.P. always brings her camera and they took some pictures of it.

Side note: More than once (many) times I stopped and waited while S.P. took some pictures along the way (and back again). She does get some really great shots which means I don't have to worry about taking any myself.

After the thrilling rock climb, my sons noticed some people not using the trail but walking up the stream instead, going from rock to rock. I guess it goes without saying but the next words where "Dad can I do that?" So after pointing out that some rocks had algae on them which made them very slippery I said sure, just be careful. At most they would get wet since the water wasn't even ankle deep in most places. I watched them from the trail as the hopped from rock to rock. They even looked ahead like a chess game to see what their next move should be. Not being mountain goats they did slip into the water now and then which is what I expected. After arriving back at the camp site we ate. After that they continued to play in the near by stream while we talked around the fire. Once it started getting dark it was time to dry off. My oldest sneakers where the only things that got wet, my youngest changed into some dry clothes. All the way back from the water fall and into the night they talked about our adventure (mostly my oldest) and how they wanted to go back and climb to the top of the water fall. Their shoes never did dry out and the next day when their mother picked them up they had to walk bare foot to the car. I'm sure she was thrilled. Sneakers will dry out eventually, but I don't think they will forget the fun they had any time soon. Should this become a regular activity we will all need to get proper hiking boots.

Is keeping clothes clean and dry worth more than making wonderful memories?

Where are the good deals?

Like most people money is tight and wise shopping is a must. Although it annoys my shopping partner a little, I will examine the various brands and compare the unit price. Funny thing about those unit prices, when looking at let's say cereal, sometimes it's per ounce and yet right next to a different brand twin (off brand) has a unit price in pounds. The point is the units of measure are NOT always the same or consistent. Your cell phone has a calculator so divide the pounds by 16 to get price per ounce (yeah I've had to do this). Now, somethings I will not get the store brand name, because of the quality and taste difference. The other day we went to the grocery store and I gave them my little key fob for the "discounts" and my receipt said "you saved $6" which my thought and reply is usually, "no, I didn't save $6, I just spent $35". Now if that $6 magically appeared in my pocket and I put it in the bank, then yeah I guess I would have saved $6. Along with this "saving" if you spend a certain amount get can get 10 cents off a gallon at their gas station. I do use this if I'm close to one but to drive out of my way just doesn't make any sense at all. Consider this, if you pump in 15 gallons of gas, with that 10 cents off you'll have not spend (notice I didn't say saved) an extra $1.50!! Woopy! go buy a soda with it, not worth driving an extra 5 minutes out of my way for a $1.50. If time is money, how much is your time worth?
Online shopping: In the past years I have made many online auction and web site purchases. These days the auctions for regular type items are rarely cheaper once you calculate in shipping. I want to add some modifications to my car. The new parts are no bargain at all, the used ones are few and they aren't always in the best condition. Make friends with a parts manager and see if they can get you a discount.
So next time add the shipping and compare to what you can buy the item for locally. If it's a high dollar item it may be worth it depending on your local tax rate.
Now this does not necessarily apply to unique items like antiques or collectibles.
There are deals are still out there, just harder to find. I do shop at one specific site for specific items because it is cheaper than buying locally, but other than just that one I haven't found any good deals like I use to.
How good a shopper are you? Find any good deals lately?

You throw like a girl

This year I have noticed that several of the kids on my oldest son's baseball team don't know how to throw. Although some can still throw it far and fast their form is horrible. This is something learned rather than inborn.
My youngest (who doesn't play) and I where playing catch before practice last night. I've been trying to help him develop a decent throwing form. While he isn't much into sports, I could tell he was really thinking about his form and the instructions I was giving him. Several times he made some really good throws and catches too. His friend showed up (the younger brother of a player), and I asked him if he wanted to go play with him. I knew he would want to and I wasn't going to make him stay there and play catch with me. He said he did want to play with him, but "after one more catch". It took a couple of tries but he did end on the positive note of having made one last catch. In contrast, when playing catch with my oldest son, at some point I usually have to say OK, I've had enough I'm too tired. After two hours or more it wears me out.
For kids in sports proper form is important for many reasons. In games that require throwing, it can cause great strain on the elbow, especially pitchers. Like most things proper form is for safety and optimal function.
I'm not sure how the term "you throw like a girl" started, but if you look at women's sports today it would be a compliment. There are many video clip examples of throwing,kicking and hitting techniques for various sports and yes, even books, imagine that. So even if you can't throw, try to give your child instruction on proper form for their benefit and self esteem. Nothing worse than playing school yard baseball or softball and being criticized by other children about the way you throw.
Do you throw like a girl?

Games and Activities

This day and age there are far too many electronic distractions that keep us from interacting. I personally have gotten caught up on the computer, I love to research. Trying to gain a foot hold in the time spent by my children playing video games, watching TV and being on the computer I have gotten some games. If you have heard of it already one of their favorites is Sequence (do a search for Sequence card game). My youngest usually manages to beat me, I'm not sure how that happens as I don't let either of them win by playing badly. As a side tangent. Kids will know if you don't try and let them win, which takes the fun out of it for them. Helping them and giving them tips is different than loosing on purpose. Yahtzee is an old classic and nothing excites a child more than seeing all the dice come up all the same number. This game I do give some suggestions and explain why I believe that a certain decision should be made, explain odds etc. Even then sometimes they do what they feel is the right move because it is dice after all and you just never know. They both enjoy playing ball, baseball and soccer mostly. My oldest has played both since he was 5, my youngest did play one season of soccer, but like me just doesn't like the team sports aspect of the games. While I would do the play ground sports, basketball and baseball, I never had a desire to play on a team (organized ball). My oldest however does like the organized ball. In him I can see the quiet competitiveness that I have. Sometimes I think I have been divided in half and each boy got a half. My youngest does have athletic ability so I hope someday he will play organized ball of some kind, I'd never force either one to play though. My oldest and I have never missed a game or practice in the last 4 years of baseball and soccer. I have been so blessed to never miss one and to have coached or assist coach some of his teams. Even at these times I still tried to give my youngest attention as well. He would rather play with the brothers of team mates who would be in the same situation he was in. One of my all time favorite thing is rock and mineral collecting. We have gone to many shows and purchased some really interesting specimens. They remember the names of the minerals better than I do. The last couple of summers we have taken a trip to a local mine which for a fee, let's you dig in a spot where they will dump stuff from the mine. We rarely miss our nightly Nerf gun war. Pillows and blankets make great bunkers. Safety glasses are a must. Currently I get them every weekend and we manage to squeeze a lot of activities in that time depending on the whether. Just talking is an activity.......I really wish they had come with instructions.

Quality Time

I have shared a lot with my 8 and 11 year old boys. Things that I grew up with, mostly music and hobbies. But it's more than just telling someone about it. Let's take music as an example. Some of my favorite bands are Rush, Pink Floyd and Queensryche. This is worlds different than today's popular music in sound and substance. They actually like "my kind" of music, most of it anyway. We have had many discussions over the years about what a certain song is about, which in many cases means different things to different people. Our point of views aren't always the same and with sharing this dialog, I know I have learned different perspectives and details from them and I hope they have done the same from me. My youngest will listen to a song he likes over and over until he gets the words (I do the same thing), my oldest does it also but to a lesser degree, he isn't as focused on learning the words as quickly, I think he enjoys variety more. Our conversations on music range from the instruments (and all the other gadgets that make noise), singers and band members, to the business of music and what are some of the possible motivations as to why songs are created. A specific song they both like is "no rain" by Blind Mellon. Their lead singer over dosed on drugs back in the early 90's I think. So this was a good opportunity to show an example of how drugs not only ruin lives and careers but can end both. While I don't take them to the mall or shopping all that much, this is one of the ways we interact, which to me is far more important in quality and substance than taking them to the store to buy them something. We have had some very in depth and grown up discussions on a variety of topics. I am truly amazed at their level of understanding and sophistication. Not knowing everything there is to know, on occasion they stump me, I don't have an answer for their question or they know more about a subject than I do. Rather than having an ego and feeling that because I'm the father I have to know everything (or at least make it sound like I do), I plainly say "I don't know" "you are right" or "you have taught me something new" I guess you get the idea. These things don't happen all the time, not everything has to be a teaching moment, sometimes all you need to do is listen.

Links I like

These are forums that I really like and for now I'm only posting the ones that I think are not for profit or actual commercial sites, even though they have ads.
I'll try to add proper links with logos later.
http://www.focusfanatics.com/
http://www.howtodothings.com/
http://www.instructables.com/
http://www.mailleartisans.org/
http://www.freestyleforum.net/index.php
http://www.providentliving.org/
http://www.arador.com/
http://www.armourarchive.org/
http://www.torilmud.org/
http://www.bbb.org/us/consumers/

some google searches you might not have thought of;
diy first aide kit
how to change a flat tire

4-3-9 The Beginning

So never having done this before......
I have decided to make this blog for a number of reasons. To share my experiences and knowledge to be shared and hopefully be of some benefit to my kids and loved ones. If any of it helps others that's just a bonus. I tend to put things down as I think of them and organize them later (if at all) so don't expect perfect grammar or perfectly flowing ideas, it ain't gonna happen. You should expect random and spontaneous ideas, because that's just the way I think.