Quality Time

I have shared a lot with my 8 and 11 year old boys. Things that I grew up with, mostly music and hobbies. But it's more than just telling someone about it. Let's take music as an example. Some of my favorite bands are Rush, Pink Floyd and Queensryche. This is worlds different than today's popular music in sound and substance. They actually like "my kind" of music, most of it anyway. We have had many discussions over the years about what a certain song is about, which in many cases means different things to different people. Our point of views aren't always the same and with sharing this dialog, I know I have learned different perspectives and details from them and I hope they have done the same from me. My youngest will listen to a song he likes over and over until he gets the words (I do the same thing), my oldest does it also but to a lesser degree, he isn't as focused on learning the words as quickly, I think he enjoys variety more. Our conversations on music range from the instruments (and all the other gadgets that make noise), singers and band members, to the business of music and what are some of the possible motivations as to why songs are created. A specific song they both like is "no rain" by Blind Mellon. Their lead singer over dosed on drugs back in the early 90's I think. So this was a good opportunity to show an example of how drugs not only ruin lives and careers but can end both. While I don't take them to the mall or shopping all that much, this is one of the ways we interact, which to me is far more important in quality and substance than taking them to the store to buy them something. We have had some very in depth and grown up discussions on a variety of topics. I am truly amazed at their level of understanding and sophistication. Not knowing everything there is to know, on occasion they stump me, I don't have an answer for their question or they know more about a subject than I do. Rather than having an ego and feeling that because I'm the father I have to know everything (or at least make it sound like I do), I plainly say "I don't know" "you are right" or "you have taught me something new" I guess you get the idea. These things don't happen all the time, not everything has to be a teaching moment, sometimes all you need to do is listen.